Culture seems to be the buzz word of the day, but for good
reason. We are beginning to realize that there is something more significant
behind our automatic actions. That awareness has helped us see there is no
longer the excuse of "that's just the way I am". It has shown us that
there are reasons behind everything we do, whether we know what they are or
not. And when we see these reasons in larger patterns, we tend to give
credit/blame to a culture that exists behind the scenes.
What I am beginning to realize is that we have a personal
culture about our bodies as well. We have spoken and unspoken values we place
on our body, which create expectations we try to meet. Some of mine have been:
"Getting
pregnant will help me love my body more".
"My
family is all big, that is my destiny."
"I need to look skinnier so people don't think I am
pregnant."
But these values don't help my body stay healthy, they
actually discourage me from taking care of my whole self. These beliefs ignored
all the important things that keep my body working well and instead kept my
focus on size. With size as my main motivator, the 5 key tips for nutrition and
the easy 6 step exercise routine still won’t get me the results I want. All the
resources that promise results are not enough to be successful. Why? I had the
following ah-ha moment the other day as I recommitted to loving and valuing my
body.
My personal body
culture is to value my size more than the health of my body!
I needed to believe something new for my body to get out of
this cycle. I first did this 12 years ago, when I realized my weight might be
impeding pregnancy. I increasingly grew to value my health in ways I'd never
considered before. Suddenly I valued comfort much less than making my body
'baby ready'', and became willing to make sacrifices I didn't even want to
consider before. I ended up losing almost 30 lbs!
Unfortunately, the hiccups of infertility and depression
threw me off track a few years later. After four years of trying, why was I
bothering if I was seeing NO fruit of all my labor?! Not to mention that the
impacts of infertility were working against my efforts. With the wild hormone
ride from treatments and miscarriages adding to the weight I was carrying, both
mentally and physically, I returned to my default of feeling better with food.
For the following 8 years I tried to get that culture back,
that unwavering motivation to improving my health. However, with a baby as just
a maybe, once again my values drifted back to appearances. I tried new methods,
but my vision stayed the same, and so I was in the same cycle of weight loss
and gain once again. Last year I returned to my heaviest weight and I knew I
had to work on my mind before I could have a lasting affect on my body. I
needed to learn how to value my internal body more than the external. More than
appearance, more than how much it might cost, more than my bad habits and my
self-medicating.
So, how does a culture shift happen? We need to look deeper at the reasons we believe what we do
about our bodies, and move beyond ‘this is just the way I am.’ It is important to connect the dots between
our thoughts and our behaviours, our values are revealed in the way we treat
our bodies.
I find that with infertility in particular, I can tend
towards negative talk towards my body more than I did before. As much as I've
tried to be more 'body positive' and tell myself it hasn't failed me, the
resentment can creep in. Especially during another late period or another
pregnancy announcement. But.
It's a choice to
believe my body has failed me, and it isn't healthy to burden my body with that
blame.
To truly bring my body into a culture of love and health, it
starts with choosing what I will allow myself to think. I am choosing to shape my thoughts so I can
believe my body has and continues to have a valuable part to play in leading a
life I will love.
What is one thought you will change today to build a
positive body culture?