I've been reflecting on death a lot lately. As one does when they've been to two funerals in three months.
 |
It of course instigates thoughts of legacy but also, so many other questions about what follows. Not that I will be around to worry about it, but who will? As I think through what might happen, I realize though, those questions about who writes the obituary, who selects the songs or the flowers, who deals with the arrangements and finances, they don't really matter, they will sort themselves out. My imagination keeps returning to how I will be remembered by those I leave behind.
In March I attended the funeral of my Aunt, in her 80's and longing for Heaven. She knew she had led a full life, full of love and legacy. Not that I think she was intentional about leaving a legacy, but she was intentional about love, and they go hand in hand. My Aunt was also unable to have her own children, not my only family member who struggled with infertility, but the only one who wasn't able to grow her family biologically. Her path was the adoption of two baby girls, but her gift for loving children and giving them a place of belonging didn't stop there. As I learned at her funeral, she volunteered with children frequently throughout most of her life, and her home was often full with not only her girls but their friends, neighborhood kids, etc. Because I grew up always a province or two away from my Aunt, I didn't know this about her, didn't know we had more in common than I thought. During the 'this is your life' slideshow, her family chose the song You Are My Sunshine, which was so appropriate as her light was still shining through the room of people who's lives she touched. It was also fitting that the room was filled with yellow roses, her favorite flower, like beautiful reminders of her light.
It reminded me of a funeral I attended almost 9 years ago. She was also referred to as sunshine. She was a mentor who I was beginning to think of as a spiritual mother. The light of her life was so bright she packed out a very large Church after her unexpected passing, and I made note of her life verse because her family credited it for how she lived her life. I wanted the joy & sparkle she exuded. Her husband selected the song Ain't No Sunshine for her funeral, and it broke my heart her warmth & light was taken away too soon.
The interesting thing about all that was that in the early months of this year, light & sunshine had been spoken over me several times. In a fun date book my husband and I are working through, it asks us questions like, "what colour do you associate with your partner?", to which my husband replied, "I know it's not your favorite colour, but yellow, because you are like sunshine." Then two of my spiritual daughters, on separate occasions, called me a light in the darkness. And a few other comments from friends along the lines of me being a ray of sunshine. So it seems I have taken after these wonderful women I looked up to after all, and have already begun a legacy of light that touches those around me.
God seems to be wanting to confirm that truth, to give me peace about what I'm leaving behind without biological children. He keeps reminding me I am a real mother to my spiritual daughters, and that more spiritual children are to come. My first daughter was the first to say to me I would have more 'kids' than I could count one day. As I reflected on that and some other moments over the years, where God assured me I am a mother, He brought to mind that line from one of my favorite movies, The Lion King, "Everything the light touches is (y)ours." This is the only legacy I've ever wanted and so I feel much serenity that I will leave something behind which will have an impact on many hearts.
Funny enough though, apparently that wasn't enough confirmation, I also got this fortune in my cookie with our Chinese order last weekend! Hahaha! Ok, message received! 😂
Comments
Post a Comment