Invited to the Unboxing

 Everyone is welcome at my table.

Don't let the name fool you. I know, the name of this blog and my website and my social accounts may seem to say otherwise, but I hope you hear me out. Niche's are a necessary . . . . I won't go as far to say 'evil'. . . but they do really make it impossible to be as inclusive as one may want to be. 

As I want to be.

A niche is just another box
The reason I began my work in this field was because I wanted to help women who, like myself, just couldn't find the support they needed as they kept facing detours in their pursuit of motherhood. My experiences didn't fit into any boxes. I wasn't a mother in any traditional sense. I wasn't choosing the treatments or options that other people were. I had no diagnosis. There was no box to check that said 'waiting until God makes a way for super natural motherhood.' I shared my story and support from the perspective of wide ranging relatability.

However, the minute I wanted to widen the range of women I could help beyond my immediate vicinity, all the promotion 'wisdom' of the world pointed me towards getting into a box. If I label myself too vaguely, those whom I am trying to help can't really find me. If I label myself in a specific niche area, many people who could actually resonate with my perspective swipe on by, "that's not me." The widest net I could cast was the label infertility, hoping that my much broader offerings might still catch the eye of those who have some overlap with some of the experiences that I share. 

Women who are infertility adjacent.

Like those who may resonate with the pregnancy losses I have experienced. But. They went on to be able to give birth and have children. 

Like those who have also received a diagnosis that encompasses infertility. But. They chose an option I didn't and became a mother.

Like those who identify as childless. But. They didn't have a chance to pursue it, they are childless by circumstance, such as not being married or getting married after a child-bearing age.

When you are At a Loss
So, being at a loss for how to communicate the inclusivity, I have worked hard to offer supports and resources focused on healing from the hurt of feeling at a loss related to becoming a mother.

Any kind of loss. Period.

The longer I am in this work, the more stories I hear that are so different from, yet so similar to, my own. As I shared in this post on what I've realized about fertility related support systems; 

"Each story shared one heartbreak, but not one outcome was the exact same."

So.

In every conversation I have, in every circumstance I find myself in, I do my best to unbox myself. To deconstruct the construct of my label. I do my best to create a community that is a large circle and has room for anyone who wants to be included.  If any of what I share resonates with your experience, you are welcome at the table! 

You may have noticed, rainbow analogies find their way into my writing a lot, and so this should come as no surprise, but I see each unique story as it's own vibrant hue, yet, united our spectrum is even brighter and more beautiful. 

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